May 2005
On February 15th, I attended a one day business seminar about leadership, with speakers such as Tom Hopkins, Peter Lowe, Phil Town, Zig Ziglar, Rudolph Giuliani, James Smith, Joe Montana, Jerry Lewis and Tommy Frank. If you can, imagine being surrounded by 17,000 people, and being seated in first row on the floor section next to the stage where you can be up close and personal with the speakers.
I was excited about the day and about the great seat I had, and was totally looking forward to learning so much. But then I noticed this girl who was seated in the next section behind me and to the side. I noticed her stunning beauty and elegance; dressed in a high impact business suit, her blond hair all together. She was sitting all by herself, and I just knew I had to go meet her.
I spent the next four hours contemplating what I would say to her. After all, I don't see someone that impacts me with butterflies in my stomach everyday. I couldn't do it. I had completely stopped. One part of me was so excited when visualizing myself on center stage, speaking in front of 19,000 people (full house) and the other part was stopped in getting up and talking to one girl. How pathetic I am, I thought to myself.
After lunch I was still battling with the idea of talking to her. At one break, I was so frustrated with myself, I just got up and went to talk to her. I stared closely at her eyes and became speechless, and continued walking away. Can you imagine how irritated I got with myself after this?
I left home in disbelief that I could be so 'stopped' like that. I then inquired to know what was so powerful that got me stopped.
Reflecting back, I saw that when I was contemplating what to say to the girl, I was judging myself for thinking so much. I was thinking how to be seductive and manipulating. I was afraid to appear like a hustler, and I was afraid of failing, as it was a mission to be accomplished. I was feeling arrogant, feeling like a loner, and fearing that if I failed I would be persecuted, appear shallow, or like a bully. I was indecisive for 8 hours. Do you get the picture? That is what being stopped looks like.
What I got, is that when I am totally interested in someone, I show up interesting to cover it up. So I am inauthentic in conversation when I show off with my ego and become manipulative so that others will like me and become interested in me. This way I wouldn't have to expose my feelings, would I?
Being Interesting vs. Being Interested court case dated 1975 regarding being interesting at the expense of others, resulted in a verdict of guilty as charged with a life sentence. I am proud to announce that after serving 30 years, Judge Steven has paroled Little Steven to freedom with a new life of being authentically interesting, especially when he is authentically interested. Little Steven has been forgiven and loved with compassion for his past.
My new way is to show up as interested vs. interesting. You probably wonder how all of this relates to business. Consider that business is about relationships. Relationships are about showing up authentic and interested in others.
Ask yourself: How are you showing up with your clients, co-workers, bosses, and suppliers? Are you being interesting with them, showing off how great you are because you want something from them? Or are you truly interested in being of service to them? When you are being interesting, what's the impact on your business?
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